The idea of one or both spouses in a marriage having an affair is as old as the institution of marriage itself. There is nothing new about the husband or the wife venturing outside of their marriage to try and find something else that is new and exciting.
At the same time, the affair is often seen as the problem. The affair is pointed to as the thing that finally did it–the thing that broke the marriage apart. While the trauma of an affair is unquestionably devastating, it doesn’t have to be the end of the marriage. Marriage counseling and other forms of therapy can help a couple who is willing to do the work regain a new, fresh lease on what has become a crumbling relationship.
Therapists all around the country are available to help couples who have found themselves at a significant crossroads because of an affair. If one or both of the spouses has had an affair, marriage counseling and therapy can take that couple off of a track headed for disaster and place them on a new set of rails that can lead to a much better life together than either of the individuals might have believed possible.
On average, an affair will last for about two years, but it is the time leading up to that affair that is most significant. Typically, there is at least one major issue that is not being communicated about in the most effective way. Communication issues are often at the root of why most affairs develop.
When one spouse is in need but doesn’t know how to express that need, or when the husband or wife cannot accurately express the deep feelings that are underlining a particular issue, that troubled spouse might seek another in order to feel that they are being understood. An affair is rarely a relationship that can be built upon because it is very often begun under false pretenses.
An affair can begin for any number of reasons, but depression should not be ruled out as a major player in the cause. There are upwards of 350,000,000 people who are affected by depression around the world, and 50% of those who suffer from major depression in America do not seek treatment.
Depression affects different people in different ways and a spouse who has participated in an affair could very likely be someone who has not been treated for depression or even another mental illness. Bipolar disorder, for example, could trigger the kind of reckless disregard for a partner’s feelings or even physical health.
You can save your marriage even if one of both of you have had an affair. Marriage counseling and a desire to stay together is all you need to start your rebuilding process.